


For the Sake of the Universe

by lifeincantos



Category: Danny Phantom, Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Crossover, Fusion, Gen, Semi AU, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-15
Updated: 2013-04-24
Packaged: 2017-12-08 13:26:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/761832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lifeincantos/pseuds/lifeincantos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The moment Valerie Gray thinks that she's reached rock bottom, an unusual benefactor offers her the chance to change things. Now she has the power to right the wrongs in her life, but every wish comes with a price.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Beginnings

Like every sad story, it wasn't meant to be this way.

 

She sat, legs curled up against her chest. It was raining- and wasn't that always the case? A complete cliché, but each drop was cold and needle-sharp against her skin and Valerie was thankful for the reminder that she was alive. The she could hurt. That there was a time when she didn't and maybe that time would come again.

 

_Come on, Gray, pull yourself together_.

 

She didn't. Not yet. For now, she needed this. She needed the indulgence of the freezing rain and the salty sting at her eyes. It was her only defense against the bitter rage that wore away her stomach and settled in her chest, hot and unforgiving.

 

_The coffee soaked her blouse and burned her skin. She barely bit back the gasp of pain and indignation as she glanced over Paulina's shoulder to find the culprit. What's his name- that freak kid with the crazy parents._

 

“ _Kwan. Hit the unpopular boy for me.”_

 

“ _I don't know, Val, accidents happen-”_

 

“ _Hit. Him.”_

 

After running out, Valerie hadn't checked her surroundings. She'd been content to curl up against the nearest stationary object and attempt to soothe the ragged edges inside of her. It wasn't easy- but she should have been used to things not being easy. She had clawed her way to the top, she had sacrificed her identity and interests, she had given up whoever Valerie Gray used to be for the chance to be someone new in high school. To be _someone_ , period.

 

She could still remember remember even a year ago, sitting on the couch with her father. The silence was heavy and the loss still fresh but they were together and no matter how empty their lives were, they were connected by something real. Something she thought was strong.

 

“ _This concert is going to rock,” Paulina offered coolly, her tone light and even as if she was talking to nothing but air. Valerie suddenly felt small._

 

“ _Ah, yeah, I got my shirt too-”_

 

“ _Good. You never know how many concerts like this you have left.”_

 

_Paulina was gone before Valerie could respond. But even if she'd had the time, she wouldn't know what to say. It wasn't exactly a warning, but a reminder. One that Valerie didn't need spoken- she was well aware that her status on the A-list was new and tenuous at best. No matter how much of a workout she gave her father's credit card._

 

She could even remember the friends she used to have, though to be fair she could hardly bring to mind how it felt. As if watching a movie she could see herself running around her spacious home as a child, playing dragons and monsters with some girl that had faded out of her life soon after while her mother made cookies and her father came home from work.

 

Valerie hugged her knees closer. Thinking about today, no matter how awful it had become, was preferable to thinking about _that_. About Before. Her chest was raw inside, her lungs scraping against her ribs, her heart piercing the veil that kept it separate. She was bleeding. Valerie was surprised that it hadn't begun to seep from her nose, her ears, her eyes.

 

_The entire structure rumbled around them, and her mind immediately scrambled to make sense of what had caused it. An earthquake- an earthquake. That had to be it because nothing else would make the whole compound of Axion Labs tremble like that._

 

_She ducked around one of the guards that were trailing them and gripped her father's arm, eyes squeezing shut. If she hadn't been so terrified of the earth swallowing her in that moment, if she had seen it, the look that flashed across his face- surprised, sad, bitter- would have torn her heart from her chest. As it was, her priority was finding something to anchor her to the ground._

 

_It stopped. The silence roared around them. Pulse thudding hard enough in her throat to burst through, Valerie cracked one eyelid open._

 

_Facing her, mammoth maw open and sharp teeth glowing a dull, sickly green, was a massive hound. Bigger than anyone in their group by double if not triple. For the second longest minute of her life, Valerie was transfixed by the swirling aura, the way the beast's eyes promised death and fire and rage, the way her entire body felt like it had become a nonentity._

 

_Then she screamed._

 

It's not real, none of it could be real. Not the monster- ghost, she'd been told- not her father, not... not her mother. If this wasn't real then maybe none of it was. Maybe this entire time, it had been a nightmare and she'd wake up, twelve and happy and run downstairs to greet her whole family.

 

_Valerie was in a daze, sitting on the couch that she hardly ever occupied these days. Her knees felt empty- like if she tried to stand there would be nothing to keep her up and she'd fall. Or disappear. Into a puff of spectral energy and leave not even a memory behind._

 

_In the kitchen, she heard her father sigh._

 

_It was enough to bring her back for a moment. Her head turned, and glazed eyes sharpened as she took in the form of her father's slumped figure. He was looking down at the table, shoulders limp. One arm was stretched out in front him, the other propped up with his hand gripping his forehead._

 

_Pushing the frivolous worry from her mind, ignoring the way her body physically protested the movement, Valerie stood. Her knees were still there and she didn't turn into a tendril of smoke. That was stupid- she was still_ herself _. Just scared. Just ostracized. Nothing that she hadn't been before._

 

_She crossed over to the threshold of the kitchen and peeked in hesitantly. “... Dad?”_

 

_He did move. Didn't react to her quiet voice- maybe he hadn't heard. So she tried again, clearing her throat and asking a little stronger, “Dad?”_

 

_But all her did was slump a little further. Tiredness attacked his limbs like dead weights, so much so that even Valerie- who hadn't spared the man a passing glance in two years- could tell that it was wrong. Her strong, successful, loving father didn't even look like a person anymore. Just a collection of defeated, tired parts._

 

“ _Do you- need anything?”_

 

_Valerie knew that he needed a lot of things. He needed his job back. He needed his life to be okay. He needed her mother. He needed everything and anything that she couldn't give him._

 

_When he finally looked up, his gaze ghosted right through her. In that slice of time, she did not exist._

 

Valerie caught herself. Numb lips were moving, robbed of feeling by the coldness of the night and the rain. She almost whispered, “I'm sorry,” but the wind didn't get the chance to steal her words. She swallowed them first as feeling, _finally feeling_ , started to bubble in her stomach.

 

Anger rushed up to color her cheeks and grab her eyes. It spread into her chest and rocketed out to her extremities. Her entire frame tightened, her feet dug into the ground and her back ground against whatever it was pushed into- a park bench she noted dully.

 

She was not sorry. She couldn't be. If she was sorry, then this was all her fault. If she was sorry then she would have to accept that she had ruined everything; that every single damn thing in her life that had driven her to some park in the rain was of her own doing.

 

_She laid in bed, the dog's eyes watching her every second and driving sleep away. Even without slipping into sleep they never left her, but keeping her eyes open and glued to the ceiling diminished their intensity as much as anything could._

 

_What she couldn't block out, though, was the laughter. Valerie may not be seeing the green gaze of the ghost kid that had shown up, but that laugh was razor sharp in her mind. Playful, arrogant, entirely uncaring that she was about to be mauled to death by a monster- that she was on the edge of losing everything._

 

_Uncaring that he was dead; a monster himself._

 

_It's not my fault_ , she thought fervently, pressing her forehead into her arms as the rain made a mockery of her distress.

 

_The lab was in ruins, and all he had in terms of explanation was a flippant response and a disappearing act._

 

“It's not my fault.”

 

_He was a walking, rotting, festering corpse with a pet hound that would find her. And kill her. Destroy her father's work. Turn everything that they had ever touched into nothing but a laughable memory that would fade away, given time._

 

“It's _**his**_.”

 

_She wasn't the monster_.

 

“Need some help?”

 

The new voice made her flinch, head flying up and chest heaving in a half-sob, half-cry of terror. Valerie was a statue as her pulse raced somewhere inside of her, but the moment her senses returned to her she was up on her feet searching for her attacker.

 

What she found, though, was not a laughing corpse, a hound poised to strike, or even a human. Her eyes finally found the park bench and perched on it was a-

 

-Cat?

 

“I can help you, if you need it.”

 

She reacted violently, stumbling backwards hard enough to twist her ankle and fall solidly on her back. Open, vulnerable, her entire frame was wracked with tremors. Valerie sat bolt upright and propelled herself backwards with the heels of her palms. Her legs and backside squished into the mud and she was covered half in grass stains. Pain consumed her right ankle and panic claimed the rest of her.

 

“What the _hell_ are you supposed to be?”

 

The cat- creature- tilted its head. Through the haze of fear, it dawned on her that its eyes were round and unblinking. Did cats blink? Did it _matter_? This one was talking- she assumed, at any rate, since she couldn't see its mouth moving.

 

Another monster. Another corpse.

 

“You're a- a ghost, aren't you? I'll- I'll end your afterlife if you don't get the hell _away from me_.”

 

Her words were weak and wavering and even though she knew that the anger she usually wielded so easily was absent, the thing didn't laugh at her. Instead, it merely flicked its tail and twitched its strangely long ears.

 

“No, not a ghost. I'm not sure what you would call me in your world, but I can give you what you need.”

 

“Benefactor.” In her desperate attempt to latch onto anything that made sense, the word tumbled unbidden from Valerie's lips. The creature stared at her impassively, and she felt her own eyes glazing over.

 

“That's probably as good as anything,” it replied reasonably. “Would you like to make a contract with me?”

 

“A- contract?” She questioned the thing sharply, tone finally reclaiming some of its customary bite. It had no visible effect on the creature- benefactor- but it bolstered her confidence and made her posture firmer, more resolute.

 

“Yes, a contract. So that we both receive what we need.”

 

“-What do you want from me?”

 

“It's very simple, actually. I will give you all the powers you need to destroy your enemies, and I will grant you one wish.”

 

Her eyes narrowed calculatingly. “That doesn't sound fair. What do _you_ get from all this?” A one-sided contract wasn't a contract at all. She was well-acquainted with what _getting what you wanted_ entailed. There had to be a catch.

 

“The things that you fear and hate so much right now are my enemies too. Destroying them benefits me greatly. But it's hard work so in return for your promise to always fight them, you receive one wish.”

 

Valerie mulled the words over. The rain stung her skin and matted her hair against her head- but it was cold and gave her some sense that she might just be thinking clearly. If she couldn't trust this benefactor thing, then she might just be able to trust herself.

 

“So my end... is fighting them?”

 

“Yes, precisely. Your mission, if you accept, is to fight and destroy them.”

 

“And what _are_ they, exactly? Monsters? Corpses?”

 

The benefactor shook its head, the omni-present smile on what she had to guess were its lips didn't mock her as she might expect it to. “In this world, you call them ghosts.”

 

A huff of frustration escaped her. “You keep saying _this world_. But there's _only one_ world.”

 

“Is there?” The question was airy and conversational and made her feel smaller than Paulina ever would. “You've just seen the walking dead, you've witnessed them destroy everything you ever held dear. Do you _really_ believe there is only one world, Valerie Gray?”

 

Her tongue felt like sandpaper in her mouth, her chest was flooded with ice. It knew- it knew her name and her story. It knew what had happened. And while her first conclusion was that it, too, was a ghost, it was offering her _everything she needed_ to destroy them.

 

_Did she really believe there was only one world?_

 

They stared at each other tacitly for a minute while the rain that had been buffeting her so wildly petered into nothing more than a drizzle.

 

“I won't make you,” the benefactor added, tail eerily still. “It's entirely your own choice. If you don't wish to be granted these powers, then I will leave. But you should know that you won't just be helping yourself- you'll be doing very important work for the sake of the universe.”

 

Valerie didn't realize that she had forced herself to her knees until she was at the side of the bench, hands gripping the metal railing. She stared down the thing, trying to ferret out any grain of dishonesty. But it was giving the choice to her, and giving her more than just means to revenge. There was a chance here to not only protect herself but the entire world, _universe_ , from these things.

 

“... I get any wish?”

 

“Yes- it's how we seal the contract. It can be for anything you can dream up. A huge feast, or to heal someone. To help your family or yourself or anyone you desire.”

 

“Only to help?”

 

Though the creature was still smiling, an unsettling quietness surrounded it for a moment and she had the feeling that those alien, unblinking eyes were examining her more critically than she it. After a while, it twitched its tail again and gave what she supposed was a head shake.

 

“It can be for anything. Not just to help.”

 

Maybe she had made the decision before that, but as soon as the words echoed in the space between them Valerie's mind was made up.

 

“Then I accept.”

 

“Excellent!” Everything the creature said sounded chipper, but there was excitement in its tone that had been missing before. “So, what is your wish?”

 

Without a moment's hesitation or a hint of a softness, she replied crisply, “I wish that when the time comes, I'll be the one to destroy the ghost boy.”

 

The moment the words left her lips, something ripped in her chest. She tried to scream, but the pain and light and the shaking of the very earth itself made it impossible. Her hands tried to claw at what felt like a sword ripped through her lungs and ribs but she was locked. Paralyzed. Forced to watch herself be swallowed by fire. Forced to watch herself _die_ -

 

Then it was over. She was in the same position, her body was intact, and the raggedness of her insides had blinked into nonexistence. In fact she felt strong. Ready. Untouchable. She looked at the benefactor blankly and though she couldn't form the quizzical expression at the moment, it understood the question she meant to ask.

 

“Look,” it directed. She glanced down. Cupped in her palms was a little gem. Orange, glowing fiercely and contained in a golden egg. The benefactor offered no other explanation, but without being told anything, Valerie felt a surge of love for the thing fill her from crown to sole. Warm, alive, part of her- the gem felt like an extension of her very soul.

 

She smiled.

 

“Valerie Gray, you are now a magical girl." 


	2. Oath

The way she’d pictured it had been effortless- armed to the teeth with a limitless supply of whatever she needed to wipe the earth clean of the ghosts that plagued it, it should have been a breeze. A transformation, a pull of the trigger, a singed stream of ectoplasm dissolving into vapor. Not a problem.

But reality would never quite measure up.

 

“That was really good!” The benefactor chirruped breezily from its seat on the adjacent statue. Valerie turned to it, cocking a disbelieving eyebrow. Her chest heaved, sweat beading on her forehead and dripping to sting her eyes. In her shaking hands was a gun- brightly colored with a rounded muzzle. Her knees felt wobbly enough that part of her wanted to press the weapon into the ground and lean on it, but stubbornness refused to allow that.

“Yeah?” She hedged, almost wanting to disagree. Pride kept her in check- disagreeing meant exposing the soreness of her muscles and the shortness of her breath. Exposing the fact that it hadn’t felt in the least bit as natural as she thought it was supposed to; the least bit good.

The benefactor’s tail twitched along with its ears. By now Valerie had discerned that the more it moved, the more it felt invested. She would have said happy, but there was an eerie flatness that pervaded the thing’s every word and deed that prevented her from assigning it any emotion. Still, it leaned in a little before addressing her.

“Yes, it was. First battles tend to be more difficult, and the way you handled the ghost with confidence is commendable!”

Confidence. Valerie hadn’t  _felt_  very confident. Though, that wasn’t strictly true- it wasn’t that she hadn’t felt confident, it was merely that she hadn’t felt  _anything_. Rage had eclipsed any other emotions and drowned out the physical discomfort until after the adrenalin had faded.

She could still see it- some sort of ghost-octopus. Its red eyes were burned onto the back of her eyelids and she could feel its phantom tentacles trying to strangle her still; cold and still somehow fiery on her neck.

It had been an overwhelming shock when the benefactor instructed her to lift the side of her orange skirt, the one that was part of the costume donned during the transformation. Fabric had given way immediately to cold metal and without thinking she’d aimed and fired. The trigger melted seamlessly against her finger, alive and pulsing.

That, at least, had gone well. Perhaps this notion of  _good_  wasn’t completely lost.

“Yeah well,” she said loftily, straightening and tossing her hair back, “I’d say it’s beginner’s luck but I don’t want to diminish my own talent.”

The benefactor leapt off the statue’s pedestal, landing neatly by her feet. “I’m glad that you’ve taken well to this, but don’t abandon all caution. You want to live to see another fight, after all.”

She made to reply archly but the parry stuck in her throat. She wasn’t going to die- that was absurd. The ectopus had gone down in minutes, and already her strained muscles were cooling down. But the reminder of mortality sunk into her bones- not entertained consciously yet still gripping her where she paid no heed.

A light against the backdrop of night distracted her. White at first but upon closer inspection tinged green. A mop of silvery hair identifiable even yards away- Valerie’s eyes narrowed in predatory slits and she heaved her gun back up.

“Wait,” came the benefactor’s voice, giving her pause. “It’s not yet time.”

“ _What?_ ” Valerie screeched, stopping just short of lunging at the creature. Her periphery still tracked Phantom vanishing towards the horizon, rage boiling in her stomach the moment he was no longer visible. “I could have _caught him_  just now! You let him get away-!”

“Remember your wish.” It wasn’t a question. Valerie just stared, so the creature continued, “I have never granted a wish that does not come true. You will destroy him when the time is right. But there is something else you need to attend to now.”

She breathed heavily, not attacking the thing but not giving it the satisfaction of asking. It didn’t seem to mind her huffy silence- though they had known each other for a week, it still seemed like there was nothing that ruffled its alien fur.

“Take out your gem,” it directed. Valerie did so, reaching into the hidden pocket sewn into one of the twin epaulets that decorated her shoulders. The egg shaped gem pulsed a familiar orange, and the moment it touched the skin of her palm she was awash in the comfortable glow that felt like life. Despite herself she was grinning as she held it out for the benefactor to see.

“Good. It’s still glowing pretty brightly. But you see there? At the top?”

She peered closely into the depths of the ethereal light; by the top where the gold bands intersected, there was some speck of-  _something_. It looked gray and unidentifiable. Valerie recoiled. Protectiveness surged through her, caustic anger flaring at the imperfection.

“What is that?”

“It’s routine,” The creature replied mildly. “Do you have the jewel you collected from the ghost?”

She nodded, reaching for the opposite epaulet while her eyes remained focused on the shimmering darkness hovering at the top of her gem.

“That’s called a grief seed. You’ll have to collect those as often as possible.”

“How-?”

“When you defeat a ghost, their leftover energy is stored in these seeds. The act of fighting then drains you a little of power- this restores what you’ve lost.”

The definition caused Valerie’s eyes to snap to the gray jewel. Its pointed end shone dully in the moonlight, fading into blackness further along the body. She held it at arm’s length, disgust etched onto her features.

“No. There is no way I’m using  _ghost_  energy.” The word ghost was thrown from her lips like a curse. The benefactor’s ears twitched, its tail remaining strangely still.

“I don’t understand- you’ll be very weak without using a grief seed. You won’t last very long.”

“ _Last_  long?”

“It’s necessary. Routine.”

“You’re saying-” The breath she took to steady herself failed spectacularly, veins turning to hollow caverns in her body. “-That without…  _this_ , I’ll- die?”

“Not by your terms,” it answered as if nothing was remotely strange. “But I would highly recommend clearing your gem as often as possible.”

She felt empty, like she was just a shadow. Like everything that had been Valerie Gray had crept from her flesh and vanished in the night. Mechanically, she lifted the grief seed and brought it to meet her gem. The benefactor guided her to merely touch the shells of the two together, and in a halfhearted shimmer of light, the grayness in her gem was absorbed by the seed that promptly dissolved into faintly sparkling dust.

“The more powerful the ghost, the stronger the grief seed it will yield. That’ll absorb more cloudiness- of course, you don’t need to clear your soul gem each time, but tending to it as often as possible will keep you in the best possible shape!”

Whether or not it expected a reply Valerie couldn’t say. Either way, she didn’t have one for it. Numb lips mumbled, “I need to go,” and by some miracle the thing didn’t follow her. A quick motion had the gem back in its pouch and she quickly allowed the transformation to take her. The costume disappeared, the night air kissing the skin around her eyes and nose that had been covered previously by the mask.

She set off, alone to process the fact that she had just allowed something precious to her to be tainted by  _spectral_  energy. Irrationally, impossibly, she imagined some weak ectoplasmic signature humming right under her skin. Ready to consume her.

“Valerie?”

The voice was entirely different from everything her world had become. She stopped short, eyes owlishly taking in the approaching form.

“-Danny?”

Danny Fenton shot her a hesitant grin and she felt her own lips respond in kind. It could have been in response to the welcome relief of someone entirely removed from the world of magic and ghosts that wanted to eat her alive, but if she was being truthful with herself she’d have to ascribe at least some part of it to his cuteness.

“In the flesh,” he replied breezily, gaze flicking somewhat worriedly at her face. “You… okay? You look a little- er- tired.”

Valerie blinked at him, momentarily unsure of what to say. “Just a little- beat from school. And work. Pretty busy day.”

“Ah, yeah, right.” He rubbed the back of his neck, looking a little lost. “Do you want me to walk you home or something?”

The suggestion snapped her out of her reverie. Every inch of her screamed  _no_. If a ghost attacked while he was with her- if the benefactor showed up- if Danny somehow found  _out_ -

“Nah, that’s alright. Gotta go pick up a few things before I head back anyway. See you in class tomorrow?”

“Oh- sure. See you tomorrow.”

It sounded like he might have had something else to say, but Valerie turned on her heel and made her way out of the park. She didn’t feel all too great about leaving Danny in the dust- he was a nice kid, a little cute even if he was naïve. But the encounter, brief as it was, filled her with purpose and shoved the thoughts of contamination from her mind.

If nothing else, she would do this to protect others. People like Danny, who had no idea the danger they were in on a near constant basis. People who would be hurt, who might  _die_  if she wasn’t there to destroy the lurking evil. The idea of Phantom hurting him- hurting anyone- was enough to steel her resolve.

_I’ll protect everyone. That will be my mission- and if that’s what I do then there’s no way I can regret this._


	3. Balance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for: Sort-of character death

It wasn’t that she liked high places- she was just starting to get used to them.

The roof of the school wasn’t somewhere Valerie had been before making her contract. Not for any worry that she might get in trouble but simply because she had no reason to be there. Her world had been narrowly focused on the problem of the moment- exams, friendships, status, and the occasional worry about family. It was small and, in retrospect, manageable.

Now she sat on the edge of Casper High, most of the city within her sights. Amity wasn’t a very large town, and the matters that had always felt so pressing were chastised into smallness by the fact that in the span of half an hour she could walk from one city limit to the opposite, that she could see nearly every building of importance from on top of the school.

The benefactor had taken leave of her since the revelation of grief seeds two days ago. Which suited Valerie just fine- the creature had way of making everything sound so reasonable, so normal, that she was glad for some space to breathe and process.

In the time since they had parted, Valerie had taken care of another ghost- this time a vulture whose inarticulate screams still rattled in her ears. It had been quicker this time. No part of the beast had touched her skin and that helped her feel less violated. The biggest aid, though, had been watching the thing dissolve in a cloud of dust, lost to the wind. Knowing that it didn’t even leave a green stain on the pavement to mark that it had ever existed.

Valerie had transformed back from her magical form, but in her palm she still clenched her faintly pulsing soul gem. Despite the second battle, the orange glow was unblemished. In her pocket lay another grief seed, but this remained untouched. She didn’t need it now. Irrational hope guided her to believe that she might not need it again. That maybe the benefactor was wrong-

“So the rumors are true.”

Valerie had known someone was approaching her on the rooftop but they spoke before she could turn and attack. As it was she startled, flinching forward- for a glimmer of a second she thought she might fall off the edge. But she found her balance and pushed herself to her feet.

Across from her was a girl both younger and smaller than herself. White hair was tied back into a ponytail that dripped against her shoulder, blue eyes were narrowed above a wolfish grin. She had her arms crossed against her chest, and her navy skirt fluttered slightly in the breeze. A dizzying moment passed where Valerie thought she might be a ghost- but no, the girl was talking. Intelligent, human, and lacked the glow of spectral energy.

“Who are you?”

“What, no biting banter? Man, what a disappointment.” The girl sighed, one arm flopping out as she made a half-hearted gesture with her hand. “I was hoping for a little fun.”

“Who. Are. You.”

“For a magical girl, you act really ordinary. What a shame.”

“I’m not going to ask you again.”

“What’ll you do? Shoot me?” The girl giggled, but far from pleasant the sound was sharp and mocking. Valerie’s eyes narrowed, hand tightening around her soul gem.

Without being prompted again, the newcomer added, “The name’s Danielle, and I’m like you. Well, you know, not  _like_  you. The only thing we have in common is a contract.”

“-Contract?” Valerie let her shoulders relax. “So you’re…”

“Magical,” Danielle supplied. “Like you. Except with experience and skill you can’t hope to match.”

Any trace of camaraderie vanished instantly. Tone caustic, Valerie replied, “Oh  _that’s_  rich, kid. You have no idea what I’m capable of. Little brat-”

“That’s where you’re wrong. I watched you in that last battle. Pretty rookie, if you ask me. But that’s what you are. And that’s how you’ll stay if you don’t improve.”

“Who the  _hell_  do you think you are, telling me what to do-”

“I’m invaluable.”

Valerie fell silent, unsure if she was consumed with confusion or rage or both. “You- want to be  _friends?_ ”

Danielle raised a finger at her, cocking it from side to side. “Nu-uhn. Not friends. Allies. It’d be far more beneficial to us both.”

_Allies_. Valerie was about to argue that the proposition was entirely unnecessary and she’d much rather punch the girl in the face when a now-familiar tingle crept across her chest. The gem in her hand throbbed, reacting to what she pieced together in moments.

Ghost.

Danielle must have felt it too- the girl’s eyes were glowing and somewhere under her sweat a faint light indicated the shining of her own gem. Soundlessly, Valerie reached for the coolness of her transformation, let it stretch across her skin- allowed her gloves to materialize, her boots to grow up the lengths of the legs, her visor mask to find its way to the bridge of her nose. The moment she felt the skirt brush against her legs in the breeze she was hopping off the edge of the building.

Below her feet was a cushion of air outlined by blinking lights that took the shape of some sort of board. It slowed her descent and she was lithe on her heels when she landed, Danielle quickly alighting beside her.

Instinct guided them, gems tugging them forward down streets that seemed deserted despite the fact that night had only fallen an hour ago. She wouldn’t question it- it made it easier to weave her way around buildings until the foreign glow of ectoplasm was finally visible.

Or, at least, what she assumed was ectoplasm. The moment she approached Elm, it seemed that the block simply  _cut off_. One moment she was tracking down the ghost amidst the brick facades of Amity, and then she- wasn’t.

“… What?”

It was about all Valerie could manage. Around her the world wasn’t the world anymore. Beneath her feet, where cement had been, was some sort of bridge made of lights. Beams of electric blue and yellow crisscrossed around a platform that, had she not been standing on it, Valerie would have sworn was barely physically present. On each side of the phantom structure were bursts of blue flames. They decorated what might have been walls back in reality. Embers sparked and smoldered, setting on fire some symbols that Valerie thought looked vaguely familiar.

Her knees shook and her breath left her for a few seconds. She’d all but forgotten that Danielle had been tailing her, so when the girl spoke she flinched.

“Woah.”

Her eyes- apparently pink after transformation- were wide with awe as she took in their surroundings. The air of bravado she’d been cloaked in was nowhere to be found, and in the back of her mind Valerie took some small, self-righteous satisfaction. It was short lived, the need for answers more pressing than cattiness.

“Do you know what’s going on?”

Danielle still seemed a little dazed when she glanced back at Valerie, but before she answered she masked her face in a thin veneer of confidence.

“Of- of course,” she replied. “We’re in a ghost’s lair. I can’t believe you didn’t figure that out.”

Inhaling sharply, Valerie attempted to cling to her patience as best she could. “Now hold on- I’ve fought ghosts before and I’ve never been in a lair before. They’ve all just been in the real world.”

“They were weaker ones, ones with less power. Less intelligence- I think they’re called… familiars?”

“That’s right!”

The new voice made both girls turn violently- a gun materializing in Valerie’s hands and a long, wicked whip in Danielle’s. But the intruder was as familiar as it was unwelcome. Valerie glowered.

“Oh. It’s you.”

“Yes,” the benefactor replied, unfazed. It was standing on all fours, looking as flatly calm as always. Danielle seemed happier with its presence than herself. She leaned forward, allowing the thing to jump into her arms. With one hand she scratched the top of its head, eliciting no reaction positive or negative. “I see you’ve both found it.”

“The lair?” Valerie questioned.

“Exactly. Your gems have guided you here, as they should have.”

Danielle continued to stroke the creature’s head while Valerie nodded absently. Around her neck, the twin orange jewel in the shape of an atom twinkled in harmony with the pulsing neon lights of the lair. She tucked her little egg back under the epaulet on her shoulder.

“So- what do we do?”

“Follow me.” The benefactor leapt nimbly from the other’s girl’s grip, motioning with its jerking tail for them to tag along after it. On auto-pilot, she felt her legs begin to move. Danielle kept pace with her, and while she’d adopted a haughty look of self assurance Valerie still caught her playing with the star pin that fastened the edges of her black and white cape. For a moment, she was dazzled by the deep navy color of the girl’s visible copy of her gem- it hung in a little keyhole cutout of the girl’s top, a vast almost celestial blue that twinkled with bright spots of white like stars.

“Remember to stay quiet- the longer you remain undetected, the more opportunity you’ll have to gain the element of surprise.”

Making sure her voice was low, Valerie asked her companion, “So I thought you had  _experience_.”

“Hey- I’ve fought plenty of familiars. I’ve been doing this for half a year.” Danielle’s reply was only a little sullen, but Valerie still couldn’t help but grin much to the other’s displeasure. “Oh, shut up.”

“You’ll notice the energy grow stronger the closer you get,” the benefactor informed them lightly. Indeed, the darkness of the place seemed to become physical- it wrapped its inky tendrils around her frame, caressed the length of her spine, curled around her neck. Every inch of her body wanted to rebel, break free and run away until her world became whole and real again. Danielle didn’t seem to be faring much better- there wasn’t even an attempt at hiding behind bravado now.

The bridge ended abruptly in a fire escape ladder made entirely of yellow light that was swallowed so completely by the omnipresent blackness that Valerie couldn’t tell where- or  _if_ \- it ended.

“The ghost will be down there.” The benefactor sat idly on the very edge of the bridge. “Fully matured ghosts build lairs like this in order to channel the energy here from the zone where they are born. It keeps them stronger and helps them maintain clarity on this plane. They are found in the very heart of the pockets they make- so climb down and be ready to fight!”

There was a definite possibility that the ladder stretched for miles and wound up god-knows-where. Climbing down seemed like the stupidest idea that one could fathom. Beside her, Danielle peered into the abyss, hesitant at first until she took a steadying breath and reached forward.

“Wait up,” Valerie cut her off, stepping in front of her. “I’m going first.” No  _way_  was she going to be shown up by some little punk. Before the other could protest, she had grabbed onto the first rung.

The moment her skin connected with the buzzing laser, every single muscle in her body was instantly paralyzed. Fear burst in her chest like a supernova-  _I’m dying!_  She couldn’t even move to let her lungs expand, and she was so overwhelmed with the notion that she was literally drowning that she hadn’t noticed the ladder had begun to move until she was deposited on the floor of the labyrinth below.

Above, there was only the faintest glimmer of blue that indicated an end to the darkness. She stood, frozen, even as the ladder began to vibrate again and Danielle landed neatly beside her, the benefactor in its arms. The girls blinked at each other, neither quite recovered even when the little white creature urged them forwards.

Gradually, the neon lines of light began to fade, a pulsing light blue echoing from the end of what could only be described as a hall. Faint strains of music came, the bass thudding in Valerie’s ears. The two girls materialized their weapons at the same time, holding them aloft as they crept forward to meet a looming archway carved into tendrils of flame.

“In there,” the benefactor instructed, lingering by the door. “This is as far as I go. Good luck.”

Valerie made to protest but Danielle pressed her fingers to her lips. Right- there was a task at hand. Pushing away the dizziness and trepidation, Valerie’s gloved palm pushed against the turquoise wood and stepped into a room that nearly drowned out all of her senses.

The music that had been faint leagues back blared- discordant chords of piano and guitar thundering in the space. Rows upon rows of purple balconies spiraled infinitely upwards, reaching heights that logically shouldn’t have existed in the lair. The lights, which in the hallway were bright but few, followed the seats and mapped out their physicality in strips of neon yellow and aquamarine. In the center of it all was a massive stage dominated by a speaker bigger than Valerie had ever seen. It trembled from the volume of the crashing cacophany- but it was nothing compared to the creature sitting on top of it.

In the loosest construction of the term it looked like a girl. She was pieced together from shades of blue and tongues of flame. It made up her hair and her limbs, and anything that could be called skin was an unearthly turquoise. Black designs decorated her eyes, eyes that when opened revealed solid panels of red where pupils and irises should have been. She was easily ten or twenty feet tall, and astride the speaker it seemed like she reached up for miles.

Valerie’s eyes burned, her heart trembled in her chest, her knees felt like they were buzzing and made of nothing at all.

“Damn,” swore Danielle at her side, weak and almost chastised. As quiet as the sound was, the creature heard it and turned its seemingly sightless gaze to them. A wicked smile curled on her painted lips and when she opened her mouth, her canines were sharpened into fangs that drew purple blood every time she spoke.

“ _ **More children come to play**_.” Though the phrase had a whispered connotation to it, every syllable was terrifying loud and carried over the throbbing music- a thundering hiss. “ _ **More come to adore, to be my audience**_.”

Valerie could have questioned the idea of more- could have asked who else had come before her. But she was completely and utterly paralyzed one more.

“It- can-  _talk?_ ”

The ghosts she had encountered thus far had been nearly insentient, barely responding to her attacks or other outside stimuli. More like rabid animals than anything else. But this specter was locked onto them, tracking their movements even in stillness. Wearing a smile that promised them a slow and agonizing end of being burned alive. Evilness that required a mind and forethought, that manifested in a lair with a unified theme a décor that must have meant  _something_.

This ghost was a person.

“ _ **I can do more than talk, my dear**_ **,** ” it hissed, climbing to the grey and blue flames and sheets of metal that served as feet. In her- its,  _its_ \- hands a plume of smoke appeared, solidifying just enough to take shape into something hauntingly familiar. A guitar.

It seemed so  _normal_  that Valerie wanted to pinch herself and wake from the dream. She wondered, vaguely, if Danielle was struggling just as much as she was. The other girl was staring, transfixed. Completely still as if hypnotized.

That was unacceptable. Valerie nudged her roughly in the ribs. Danielle turned and glared but did nothing else as the other pointed at the ghost sure to end them at any moment. Right- back on track, she shifted the whip in her hands, letting the end trail to the floor as the handle glowed in a faint swirl of navy and pink.

“ _ **What a precious toy**_ **,** ” the ghost boomed loftily. “ _ **Would you like to see mine?**_ ”

It proceeded to strum a note on the instrument of smoke, the twang deafening in Valerie’s ears. She pressed her hands to her ears, one open and one still curled around her gun, until the sound faded into the mix of the music already playing. The fact that she was still alive and relatively unharmed came as a shock, but when she looked up in wonder the pit of her stomach fell from her body.

Dangling on either side of the ghost’s head were two figures wrapped up in broad lines-  _staves_ , a little voice in Valerie’s mind told her. They were kicking and trembling and when they shifted enough that she could see their half-hidden faces a choked cry tangled in her throat.

“Sam and Tucker?”

Later she would remember that her mask was there for a reason, that if things worked out the way they should her classmates wouldn’t know her or why she knew her names. But she doubted that they could hear much of anything above the din, let alone her own strangled outburst.

“You know them?” Danielle asked at her side.  _Right_. Someone that  _would_ hear her. Valerie nodded.

“They- go to school with me.”

“They’re  _human?_ ” She swore in a way that somehow struck Val as uncharacteristic despite how little she knew of the girl. “This is really bad. How did they even get here?”

“ _ **And now, your opening act!**_ ” Another strum, but this time she was prepared and kept her eyes glued on the ghost even as she covered her ears. Suspended right above the ghost’s head in a swirl of fire that kept it contained was- Phantom.

She managed to refrain from barking out the kid’s name, instead taking in his form. If she didn’t know any better she’d say the ghost looked… terrified. His eyes- bled completely green and lacking pupils- were wide and swimming with fear, and his attempts to free himself were frantic and jerky. For a moment he looked almost human. Especially compared to the creature triple his size directly below.

“ _ **And now we have you. Two more to chant my name! Say it, children. Say Ember.**_ ”

Her bones felt like they were shaking in her skin, her muscles like wet rags. A name, a face, emotions- none of it could matter. She violently shoved all the half pieces of the puzzle from her mind, cocked her gun, and as it whirred to life with a whine Val motioned to Danielle that it was time to fight.

She leapt up, boots hitting against a floating staff to her right. It made to snap her up but she was already moving- springing from staff to staff until she landed on the lip of the speaker. Danielle was right behind her, heels settling with more stability than Val attributed to them.

The moment the creature’s face, leagues above, came into focus she took her shot. The weapon vacillated between cool and warm, rings of orange light bursting into clarity around it and pooling into one shining laser beam. It made contact, and the ghost named Ember growled.

It wasn’t going to be easy, she knew that. The second she saw her shot hit its mark, tongues of fire came to life and attacked her. Val shot them down, drawing a second gun to shoot each down. Danielle sliced through a few of her own, as well as some hovering music notes that threatened to eat them.

“We have to get up there!”

Danielle glanced contemplatively around, taking in the rafters overhead. Without a word, one arm curled around Valerie’s waist and the lashed out straight up. Her whip lengthened and broadened, now a dazzling midnight blue that glimmered with intrinsic stars. It looked more like a ribbon than a weapon as it secured around one of the faux-metal beams.

The pair was hoisted up, rocketing straight up. One last burst of energy put them up over the edge and as Valerie touched down Danielle withdrew her ribbon, letting it melt into a weapon and materializing a second in her hand. From this vantage point they were at neck level and she could clearly see and hear the struggles of the two humans and one other ghost.

Whatever had to be done about them would wait. Now, Val was peering directly into the seamless red eyes of the ghost. She raised the muzzle of the gun, aiming it point blank and firing. The orange light awoke and nailed the thing, causing it to stumble.

“I’m going to waste it,” Val hissed at Danielle. “Take care of the traps for me?”

Danielle nodded, two whips striking out and twisting into impossible shapes and lengths as she battled the animated musical symbols and sparks. Val knelt, gaining more stability, before unleashing the full power of her two guns, discarding them when they were through and drawing two more forth.

The creature howled, increasing the torrent that Danielle was dealing with. But Valerie was focused solely on the one spot between the thing’s eyes. Blast after blast found its home there, burying in the blue, spectral flesh. The pile of discarded weapons beside her grew until they started to fade one by one.

_A little more. C’mon_. Ember was shrieking, her cries more deafening than any strum of the guitar could be. Sweat beaded on Val’s forehead, her arms ached. She shot and shot and shot until it felt like one continuous pull of the trigger until-

-The lair trembled.

Ashes rose in weak clouds from the black walls, the ghost stumbled back and fell out flat on the speaker. The objects attacking the girls petered out, dissolving into nothing. The whole place shook again, patches racing each other into nothingness. The lights winked out, and within a moment, they were standing on Elm Avenue.

Valerie breathed heavily, still crouched but now on cement rather than the narrow catwalk. At her side, Danielle looked a little dazed. But she could only focus on the disintegrating corpse in front of her.

Ember’s blue skin was turning black in large chunks and the patches were turning to dust just as her lair. Her unfathomable eyes now only too clearly read abject horror in their depths. Her mouth was stretched into a final, ever-soundless scream and was the last thing that remained when the rest of her had turned to flakes and vanished without any ado.

“I… killed it.” The whispered words were rough against her throat. Her gaze swung to the other girl, who looked just as lost.

“You- no. You didn’t, it was already dead. It was a ghost.”

“I- destroyed- a sentient thing.”

“ _No_. C’mon, don’t be such a wimp. This is what we signed up for.” The haughtiness was a weak facsimile and it bounced right off of Valerie’s shocked shell. She knelt in silence for a moment, staring at the spot that bore no evidence that Ember had ever existed.

It couldn’t stay that way for long. Though she’d forgotten, her eyes found the other three that had been in there- Sam and Tucker and the ghost boy. If she could have, she would’ve summoned her anger and asked them what in the  _hell_  they were thinking, associating with ghosts, stumbling into lairs.

But they were looking at her exactly the way she expected. Like she was a monster. They were shaking, weakly pale, unable to speak. Sam was in front of the other two, her arms flung out as if to protect them. Even though the ghost was gone and the other one was behind her.

Her. She was protecting them from  _Valerie_.

Phantom recovered first, tugging Tucker to his feet and picking up Sam. Perhaps if he hadn’t been staring at her like a victim staring at its murderer he would have had the wits about them to fly them off. But for whatever reason, he simply pulled them back until they were stumbling over their ungainly limbs to get away.

That left the two of them. The benefactor hadn’t met back up with them. Maybe it was dead, vanished with the lair. The thought was not anathema to her- in some way it was actually comforting.

Valerie stood, looking at Danielle in some heavy mimic of a challenge.

“It’s… what we do. We’re magical girls. We destroy ghosts.”

“Like that?”

Danielle nodded mutely.

“-This isn’t what I wanted.”

Some bitter anger seeped into the other’s tone- “Oh? So what  _is_  it that you wanted? You wanted to, what, protect everyone? Make this world a better place? Bring a little happiness to this wasteland? As good as your intentions are, you’re going to suffer. That’s what keeps this earth turning. _Balance_.” She spit the last word at the other’s feet.

Valerie couldn’t respond. She couldn’t argue that this wasn’t what she deserved- not for the sake of balance, but in retribution.

_This is what we do. We’re magical girls. We destroy ghosts. And that is how I will destroy Phantom_.

She turned and left, not bothering to note if Danielle followed.  


	4. Details

The sun was bright and blazing overhead. It seemed that Valerie had been living in slices of nighttime for years, even though she’d forged her contract only a week and a half ago. Epochs had passed in each second since the previous battle only half a day ago. She had wandered the city since then, tracing out every street while her soul gem burned her hands.

It was much darker now. Two battles untreated and the grey at the top was already bleeding into blackness, inky tendrils dripping into the orange belly of the thing. The feeling of being attacked and penetrated by the darkness paled in comparison to the feeling of having the gem at all. She had thought that it had been a part of her- some warm extension of her very self. But now it sat in her palms like a little dry ice, chilling as it melted away her flesh. If she stared hard enough, the orange glow began to look like blood.

 

After wandering the streets of Amity for hours, Valerie had found a fire escape on the side of the warehouse at the edge of the city and climbed up to sit and stare at nothing at all. Danielle had been tailing her, making no secret of it. But they didn’t share a single word until the other girl had climbed up beside her and perched on the other side of the woven metal platform.

“I thought you were fed up with me,” Valerie tossed out acerbically. Danielle didn’t answer. Her gaze was at the pavement below them as she shifted, leaning more heavily against the railing. The wind lifted the ends of her tied-back white hair and played with the hem of her skirt. The thick, uniform-like fabric was less inclined to move but every so often it fluttered around her knees.

“Well if you’re not going to answer, you should at least tell me about yourself.”

After a beat, the other girl replied. “Fair point. My name is Danielle Masters. I made a contract with that creature about six months ago. Last night was the first time I’d fought a ghost in their lair.”

Valerie was pleased to note that the girl sounded her age, or at least closer to being stripped of her flippant armor. She nodded, mulling it over. A strained, wry grin slipped across her lips and she turned enough to catch the other in profile.

“So  _what_  was that you were saying about- experience and skill I couldn’t hope to match?”

Danielle huffed, fluffing s section of her bangs away from her forehead. The silence gave Valerie a little satisfaction, and her shoulders relaxed. She could have pushed it a little, took a swing at the girl’s obvious uneasiness, but an ancient tiredness was settling in her bones and she didn’t have the energy. Instead, she looped her arms around the metal railing and laid her cheek against them.

The platform shifted when Danielle moved, groaning under their weight when she took a seat beside her. Their legs dangled, feet and miles above the cement below. When she looked down she had the distinct impression that it was sunset- but the sky was bright blue and the time was probably barely noon.

“… I feel life I haven’t slept in ages,” Valerie murmured. She didn’t turn to see the other girl’s reaction- it didn’t really matter if she was met with scorn or not.

“Yeah. Well. This is what you signed up for.”

“It would’a been nice to know that beforehand.”

Danielle snorted in derision, a quick glance confirming that she was rolling her eyes. “Are you  _seriously_  telling me that’s your biggest problem? You sold your soul and you’re worried that you’re tired? Please- tell me you’re not that shallow.”

Eyes burning with fury, Val rounded on the girl. “And tell me  _you’re_  not that full of yourself. You were just as scared as I was back there and  _you_ didn’t even kill the thing!”

The accusation rang in the following silence. Danielle’s lips moved wordlessly, her cheeks glowing a faint accosted pink as she tried to pick of her train of thought. But the moment she’d said it, Valerie wanted to take the words back. She hadn’t accused Danielle of being a murderer- she’d accused her of  _not being one_ , and her stomach clenched- sick and hot.

She didn’t turn to see the other’s clenched jaw or set gaze. She didn’t need to.

“You’re right.” The reply was small and far away. “I didn’t.”

Valerie heard the accusation, felt herself curl into whatever darkness she could find inside. She searched for something to say, something to convey hurt and anger and apology and bitterness all in one, but as her eyes searched for the answer on the ground below they found something else entirely.

“ _You_.”

The benefactor was staring up at them, unblinking eyes and unwavering smile in place while its tail flicked slowly, jerking from one side to the other.

“Valerie Gray, Danielle Masters. You both survived.”

Glowering, Val replied scathingly, “Don’t sound so happy about it.” Danielle added nothing, just staring between them with tired eyes as the benefactor leapt lithely up to their platform.

“I’m not happy  _or_  sad,” It answered reasonably, looking entirely unaffected. “I don’t process these things you call emotions. It’s merely a fact, and a good one that you are still alive.”

She could have been surprised, but there was nothing in the eerie stillness of the creature that had even given her the impression that it _could_  feel emotion. For a delirious second, she almost envied it. Being stripped of feeling and computing only the bare essentials sounded so much easier.

“I can feel corruption in your soul gem,” it brought up airily. Danielle raised an eyebrow at Valerie.

“-You didn’t purify it yet?”

“No.”

“ _Valerie!_ ”

She looked up to see Danielle’s drawn expression of disapproval. Mechanically, she fished the grief seed from her pocket, forgetting for a moment there were two there. The one from the mature ghost- Ember- blazed with darkness compared to the other’s lighter gray sheen. She stared at it for a while, not taking in any information from it. Her glazed gaze just needed a place to rest before she turned to Danielle and tossed the seed to her.

Out of instinct, the other girl caught it. But she immediately held it out at arm’s length, nose and brows furrowing and lips tightly pressed together.

“I don’t take  _anyone’s_  charity. If I want one I’ll get it myself.”

She threw it back, but Valerie made no move for it. It landed with a muffled  _plink_  by her side, emitting a few waves of blackness but other than that it remained perfectly intact. The benefactor bristled with the closest thing she’d seen to reprimand from it.

“You shouldn’t do that.”

The appropriate reaction would have been feeling chastised. But rage, hot and sick and suffocation blossomed in her stomach and clawed its way up to her chest. It locked in her throat, colored her cheeks, coursed in her blood.

“Oh yeah? What else  _shouldn’t I do?_ ”

Danielle flinched back from the venom in her tone while the benefactor stared at her, unreadable. She was overwhelmed with the urge to hurt it- to strangle it, break its neck, watch as whatever color blood it had soaked its white fur. Watch the light leave its unseeing and all-seeing eyes. She wanted it to recoil from her.

“Maybe I shouldn’t be out here at all. Maybe I shouldn’t be murdering sentient things. Maybe I shouldn’t be trying to do any good in this world. Maybe I should just throw this all away!”

She didn’t remember where it had been before, but her soul gem was in her hand swirling its mix of orange and black. There had been no conscious decision to emphasize her point, but her muscles knew exactly what to do where her mind fell short. Her arm rocked back, the once-comforting gem kissing her fingertips goodbye as it sailed in a high arc off the fire escape and towards a distant street-

 

-There was movement and noise and color. Her name was being yelled, and other things too that her heavy ears couldn’t detect. Every limb was turned to stone, even her eyelids refused to open more than a crack but-

-When had they closed? She was… laying down? Sprawled would be a better word: sprawled out. Her limbs were akimbo, cheek pressed against the pavement, slitted eyes only seeing her flat outstretched palm.

The gem was in her hand, pulsing with its ethereal light only diminished by the floating blackness within. Instinct kicked in and she made to fling the thing away from her, but fingertips pressed against hers, closing her hand into a fist.

No. Wrong-  _wrong_. Valerie struggled, straining to sit up and speak- both of which proved to be fruitless endeavors. Above her, Danielle was saying something but the words were muffled and she only caught snatches. Not even enough to discern a gist.

“Keep— if you—  _really bad_ —!”

Valerie groaned in frustration, the tips of her toes and fingers now tingling. It was taking entirely too long for the feeling to return to the rest of her, for the buzzing in her head to quiet to something manageable. And the fact that she had no idea what in the  _hell_  was going didn’t help matters any.

The moment her lips were freed of their weight, she ground out a strangled, “ _Shut up_ ,” as she leveraged her elbows beneath her. Once she got moving she found it wasn’t actually that hard. The vestiges of languid weight clung languidly to her torso, but once upright the ringing in her ears faded and the fuzziness in her head dimmed to something less all-consuming.

_Jesus_.  _Do I even want to know?_  Valerie rubbed her eyes, knowing it was only delaying the inevitable. When she peeked out from behind her fingers, she was able to take in the strangely still form of Danielle. Her navy eyes were wide but blank looking, her white hair- so sleek before- was in little tufts and half out of its ribbon. She was breathing heavily, as if she’d run a great distance in a short time, and Valerie could feel her chest moving from the proximity; her fingers were still covering Valerie’s, keeping her fist curled around her soul gem.

But they had  _just_  been sitting on the metal grate-

-Which was above them.

“Alright,” she growled almost mushily. “Tell me what happened.”

Danielle seemed to realize that she was still holding onto her hand. She let go and scooted back to allow some space between them before she tried to find somewhere to begin.

“You- I thought you had- What’s… the last thing you remember?”

Biting her lip, Valerie replied, “… The benefactor was… talking. I- threw my gem?”

“Yeah.” Danielle’s voice was thick and fraying. “Yeah- you did. And soon as it got a certain distance away, you just… you  _fell_. Your whole face went blank, you weren’t breathing- not like you were just dead, but like you had never even existed!”

“ _What?_ ” Though her ears had cleared, she couldn’t hear anything yet again. Her pulse was rushing so hot and fast and loud that it drained everything else away. In a divorced sort of way, she could still see Danielle’s wide-eyed gaze, her moving lips, but there was nothing else getting in for a long moment-

-Until she jumped up, every muscle electrically alive. Her chest bucked, her legs were locked into a tight stance and the same exclamation was ripped from her lips again- “ _What?_ ”

Danielle hadn’t climbed to her feet yet. She was still kneeling, like she had no idea  _how_  to stand. “Valerie these… they’re called  _soul gems_  for a reason.”

No.

“They don’t just have powers or make us transform.”

_No_.

“These… when we made our contracts, our souls were ripped out.”

“No.”

“They’re our souls.”

“ _No_!”

This wasn’t real. This wasn’t happening. None of this made any sense- none of it was okay. “This doesn’t make sense. This isn’t… it’s a dream. This all has to be a dream.”

“I’m sorry,” Danielle whispered brokenly. “I’m-”

“ _I’m going to kill that thing!_ ”

A humorless laugh escaped the other’s lips. “I already tried. It can’t die.”

Valerie pressed her lips into a thin, tight line. That seemed about right- it wasn’t any more or less than she had expected, really. It figured that the true bane of her misfortune would probably stick around longer than either of them.

The gem was still in her hand, tiny and glowing with life. It dwarfed her, eclipsed the whole of her being. Blotted her out until she was barely a shadow cast from its ethereal light. She could see the barest hint of her reflection, bisected by the orange and black in its depths.

A monster stared back at her.

She didn’t feel herself do it, but she was sitting again. Her gaze was blank, her limbs an unfeeling construction. Numbly, she noted Danielle watching her- warily now, like she was some sort of animal. Maybe that was it; she certainly didn’t  _feel_  human.

It was like her jaw was rusted shut, but somehow she managed an acidic, humorless laugh when she said, “Maybe I’ll give it a try, then.”

So slowly she couldn’t say for sure if it was happening, Danielle smiled. “Yeah. You should.”

The faint glimmer of hope faded, leaving them both staring at the gem in Valerie’s hands. Even tainted with darkness, it was still so fiercely beautiful. It produced its own light, miraculous and mocking, and the gold bands that held it were tied in a bow of precious metal at the top.

She wanted to break it.

But instead, she just sat there.

The sun was still high in the sky, though perhaps a little lower than it had been before. Such little time had passed in the lifetime since she had thrown the gem- since she had made the contract, since she had started high school, since her mother had died, since she had come into this world. Such a meaningless little slice of time in the vastness of the universe- it was like she’d never feel big again.

“I…” Danielle started to say, sitting down next to her. “I… want to think that this all means something. That- even if it turns out like this, that I didn’t make the wrong choice.” She leaned back on her forearms, eyes fixed on the sky, breeze lifting her bangs away from her forehead. Val stayed silent, let her talk.

“I really loved my dad. He adopted me- I don’t remember anything before that, I was really young. He was never happy in the way you’re supposed to be, but I was. I think.” She sighed. “He was important and rich and busy; the moments that he stopped and spent with me were the best ones of my life. But there was always something missing.

“I got got older and he got more distant. He’d spend hours on the phone or in his office or in his secret room in the basement that turned out to be in the lab and I think- I think that after a while-” Danielle cut off, not overcome with emotion but still swallowing, “-He kind of forgot about me. One day I came home and he was in a rage- something about a son and a wife. He didn’t do anything to me, it wasn’t like that. Actually, it was the opposite. He didn’t see me at all.”

Valerie’s breath caught in her throat for an entirely different reason, but Danielle wasn’t done. “That’s when that creature showed up. It told me that… I could change things. I could protect the world, make it better. Take the stress away for my dad, keep him safe. And I could get a wish- _any wish in the universe_. God- I couldn’t pass that up. I couldn’t- I _couldn’t_. So I made the contract and- I wished for me dad to be happy.

“That’s when she showed up- she was beautiful and kind, and Dad was completely overjoyed. For a whole month, things were  _really good_. Better than they ever had been, and I thought that everything would be fine. I learned how to fight ghosts, and went home every evening to a real family.

“Things wouldn’t stay like that. They couldn’t. She wasn’t real, she never was, and Dad he- he realized that I’d done  _something_. He called me a witch, he wanted to know what I was. What I had become. He was ready to dissect me and find out for himself. And so here I am.” Over the course of her story, her head had bowed against her chest, eyes shadowed and inscrutable. “Killing things. Homeless. I tried to bring happiness, but the universe doesn’t work like that. It needs balance. Happiness will always lead to misery.”

Valerie waited a beat to find her voice before replying distantly, “… Why are you telling me this?”

Before she answered, Danielle laughed. Airy and tired. Worn out. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s ‘cause you get it. I mean, who else would? But- I think I… I just want someone to know. If someone knows then maybe I won’t- disappear.”

“-It’s not just happiness, you know,” Val replied quietly, causing Danielle to glance up at her from the corner of her eye. “My wish wasn’t for anything happy at all. I think it’s just unfair, in the end. I think that creature just needed someone to fight for it. Because wishes- wishes don’t come true. You can’t make something out of nothing.”

“So you think I’m stupid?”

A painfully sad smile worked its way across Valerie’s lips. She set the gem down beside her and reached out to take the other girl’s hand. It was cold and still trembling a little. She squeezed.

“No.”

Danielle smiled back.   


	5. Miracles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for: Character death/slight gore/tragedy

For a moment, Valerie felt big again.

She wasn’t sure what it was. The feeling of the end of something, perhaps- actually being able to see the culmination of what she’d been working for. Where everything had led. That was certainly enough to make her feel big; after all, her wish had finally come true.

But that would be lying. Valerie knew exactly why she felt big- too big, overwhelmingly large and eclipsing everything good and decent. It was the way he was staring at her, disbelief etched into the marble of his face. This had never been a part of his plan- this was abstract. A nebulous warning, not an actuality. And while Valerie had seen death already, it had been nothing like this.

* * *

“Talk,” she growled, picking the creature up by the scruff of its neck. Of all places, she’d found the thing at her apartment looking for all the world like it owned the place. Danielle hovered behind her, caught between exhaustion and rage and vibrating with confusion.

“What would you like me to say?” The benefactor asked mildly. Valerie saw red.

“Everything. Tell us  _exactly_  what’s going on.”

“What do you mean?” It was smiling. It was always smiling. She wanted to rip its face off. “You already know what you’re doing. You fight ghosts, and you receive one wish for doing this job.”

“Yeah and you  _ripped our souls out_!”

Behind her, Danielle made a strangled noise of distress. The benefactor and Valerie paid her no heed, each staring at each other.

“How else do you expect to fight ghosts? Your human bodies would be far too weak to fight ghosts- you’d be slaughtered in your first fight with a familiar.” Its tone was as even as ever, light like sunshine. “That wouldn’t do at all. You can’t fight any ghost if you’ve been torn in half. So upon making a contract, I take the essence that is  _you_  out to keep it whole and change your body into something far more durable! I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want that.”

There had never been a moment until this point that Valerie wanted to be out of her skin so badly. “You lied to us!”

The creature shook its head. “No, I didn’t. I don’t understand this concept of ‘lying.’ Where I come from, the thing that you call feeling is seen as a mental disease. Something unhealthy and ultimately detrimental. You can’t accomplish anything if you are hindered by attachments that aren’t logical.”

Before Valerie could formulate words, Danielle stepped forwards. A flash of an image crossed Valerie’s mind- the way the other girl had held the benefactor, scratched its ears like one might on a beloved pet. There had been some measure of affection there, and her heart squeezed tightly when she saw the dead look in Danielle’s eyes.

“How could you?” She whispered, navy irises flat and dark.

“I simply don’t see it that way. I can’t explain or apologize because it doesn’t mean anything to me.”

How Val managed to not skin the thing then and there she couldn’t say. Her next words were growled, entire face contorted in fury. “If you don’t feel anything, then why ask us to fight ghosts in the first place? If you don’t care about protecting others, if you don’t have emotions to guide you,  _if you’re not from this world_  then why do you do this?”

Its entire frame was still- unnaturally still, from the tips of its ears to the end of its tail. “It’s not like that. I do this to protect the universe.” Valerie’s whole body was plunged into ice water, but it wasn’t done talking. “Every second, the universe loses energy in a process known as entropy. Left unattended, it wouldn’t be just your world that suffers- every planet, every galaxy would eventually lost so much energy that all function would cease. Life would end. Some other source is needed to supplement that which is lost. I find young women who contain a high level of emotion and offer them a contract. Their feelings are channeled in every fight they participate in, thus ensuring that the universe continues to function as it always has.”

Behind her, she heard Danielle give a broken, dry sob. But Val’s face was numb, mind disconnected from every other part. She heard herself ask another question, but if she wasn’t familiar with the sound of her own voice she couldn’t have been sure that she was the one who asked it.

“… Our soul gems. Our- souls. Why do they get black like this?”

The answer came quickly and cheerily. “It’s a side effect. A buildup of energy, if you will. It counts down the time until your souls can no longer be purified and you become ghosts yourselves.”

Danielle gagged. Valerie dropped the thing, lifted a hand and allowed a gun to materialize and leveled it point blank at the thing. The lofty assertion that it had ‘plenty of spares’ and ‘killing has no effect on me’ fell on deaf ears, drowned out by the whine of the motor.

The benefactor was caught in an explosion of white and red, blood spattering on the back wall of her bedroom.

* * *

She stared.

The hole in his stomach looked strangely like a yawning jaw, cavernous and unending. His gaze was frozen in shock, his entire body locked so tight he might just shatter into a million ectoplasm covered shards. A chunk of his stomach was  _missing_. She supposed she couldn’t blame him for being so transfixed with his own mortality.

“- _Why_?” He whispered. Without understanding how she got there, Valerie’s knees were digging into the soft earth, her own gaze glued on his stomach.

She didn’t have an answer for him.

* * *

Danielle ran and Valerie chased after her. The gun was gone, and she hadn’t stuck around to test how truthful the benefactor’s claims were. Her chest didn’t heave, her limbs didn’t tingle. She felt like she could run for miles and miles- for the rest of her life.

The two made their way down streets, through the park, to a back alley near the school and then Danielle finally collapsed. She was shaking, and even through her body jerked violently she wasn’t crying. Her eyes were wide as they could go, glassy and bloodshot, and her pupils had shrunk to almost nothingness.

“You killed him,” she murmured, not quite aware. Valerie stood beside her.

“It’ll get over it.” She almost wanted to laugh.

“He- killed us.”

“Basically.”

“We… this was never for us.”

“No.”

“And we’re going to- we’re going to be- ghosts.”

“That’s a good summary.”

Silence suffocated them.

“I- can’t- do this.”

Valerie raised an eyebrow, looking at the girl as if through a tunnel. “I thought you were more experienced and better in every way.”

The other girl finally turned to look at her, gaze casting about for a lifeline. That managed to rip through the hull of Valerie’s armor. She fell down beside her and wrapped her arms around her. There was no way to make words anymore. And even they could, there was nothing to say. No way to lift this death sentence.

So they stayed, locked around each other until their soul gems vibrated and their eyes glowed and Val ordered Danielle to stay there and not come as she took care of the ghost.

* * *

There was nothing that could shock her anymore. When the rings appeared around Phantom’s waist and rushed out in opposite directions, leaving scrawny little Danny Fenton in their wake, all she could really think was,  _that seems about right_. Par for the course.

It figured that her final fight would result in killing the person that only a few days ago had given her a little boost and a possible direction to follow. A human.

A laugh dry like autumn leaves scraped her throat. Danny looked scandalized.

“Not the reaction I was expecting,” he wheezed wetly, blood oozing in sluggish pulses from the gaping wound that nearly had him in two.

_Same_ , she didn’t say. She must have looked crazy- it should have been implied.

Any morbid mirth left her when Danny turned to the side and coughed up an almost black-looking conglomeration of blood and phlegm. Valerie Gray would have gagged at the sight, but she wasn’t Valerie Gray anymore, was she?

Instead, she scooted forward on her knees and gripped his outstretched hand. He wasn’t looking at her with hate, which was strange. His gaze was wary but somehow resigned. Like he’d expected this.

“I probably deserve this,” he whispered, breath shallow. She watched him with her glazed expression. “I was pretty stupid. Poked my nose into stuff, got contaminated, tried to play hero. If it wasn’t me here, it’d be Sam or Tucker. Or someone else.”

“That’s not true,” she replied. Soft and even. “You’re only here because I couldn’t let things die. -In a matter of speaking.”

This time, Danny laughed. “It all seems kind of small, you know? I’d apologize, but I’d say we’re even.”

“Yeah.”

The wind blew his hair back, and for a moment she was reminded of Danielle. The face shape, the wildness of the hair- and she was reminded that one day, it would be Danielle in this position. Val would have liked to say that she could have handled that, but like in every sad story she knew that would be the moment her strength would fail her.

The unused grief seeds clicked together in her pocket.

“If it’s any consolation,” she murmured weakly, “I’m probably about to die too.” She could feel the blackness of this battle consuming the remnants left of the orange in her gem. It felt good, but Danny only looked at her sorrowfully.

“It’s not. Death-” he hissed, arching his back before laying out in a way that was too still. “-’s not for anyone. Too much-” His eyes frosted over, lids still open and staring at her. Through her. Like she didn’t exist.

He was gone, but Valerie couldn’t find her feet yet so she stayed awhile longer, holding his hand.

* * *

When Danielle had found her in the park she’d wandered to, Valerie’s first words fell from her lips like stones: “I killed him.”

She was laid out on a grassy hill, limbs too heavy to move. A little voice told her to be annoyed that Danielle had come after her when she’d told her to stay put, but reasonably Val was aware that she wouldn’t have had enough strength to get back to the school anyway.

“Who?”

“Danny?”

“Who’s that?”

Valerie didn’t know what to say to that terrified gaze, those frantic hands. In the end, she picked what sounded reasonable enough- “Nobody.”

Danielle dropped beside her, quickly taking in the soul gem in the grass beside her. Only the faintest whisper of orange remained. The rest was a swirling mess of black sludge. She bit back a sob.

“ _Val_! I don’t- you have to have a grief seed from that fight, right? You need to- you need to-”

“No.”

“ _Valerie_!” This time the cry was not frantic but sharp and demanding. Val shrugged as best as she could.

“It was stupid. I should’ve saved them for you but I threw them all away. And then I came here- because it’s nice a place to go, you know? To go when you go.” She laughed deliriously. Danielle moaned.

“You can’t leave though, Valerie you  _can’t leave_.”

Valerie hummed gently, sifting through words to find a phrase that could convey exactly why she needed to leave. “It was meaningless. Everything I did was meaningless. I never did this to help anyone, and my wish…” She sighed, smiling wearily. “When that thing found me, it wasn’t like my problems were big at all. I would have been fine. So it was all meaningless.”

“But it wasn’t- Valerie it  _wasn’t_  meaningless. Please- please hold on, okay? Please-” Her eyes, the most striking navy blue Valerie had ever seen, brimming with tears that stubbornly refused to be shed. Even now the remnants of Danielle’s stoic facade made her smile. She reached up, the edge of her forefinger brushing up the length of her cheek to free the liquid pooling against the other girl’s eyelid.

“It didn’t have to be like this,” Valerie reasoned languidly. “This is what happens, I guess. Pride- hate- generosity… it’s all the same in the end.”

“No!” Danielle grabbed at her hand, holding it tightly between her palms. “It’s not! I don’t believe that!”

“How else would you explain it, then?”

The question hung between them, vibrating with all they had done. Killing innocent children, sacrificing themselves, allowing false promises to lead them down a path made purely of destruction. It didn’t judge them, just stood as a testament to the slates that would never be wiped clean.

Danielle’s hands trembled around hers, but only for a moment. Then she squeezed, pouring all of herself into the gesture.

“I don’t know. I don’t know how to explain it, but I know how I feel. And I- I can’t regret this! That would mean regretting all of it- finding myself and- and learning what I can do. And meeting you-  _you_. My best friend!”

Valerie laughed, realizing a bit too late that it was wet, her eyes stinging and damp. Her other hand searched for Danielle, wrapping around their joined digits and drawing it to her chest. The  _thump thump_  of her pulse was still there- there was still life in her, even though the cloudiness of her soul was painfully visible in the gem that lay, abandoned, beside them.

“I like that,” she whispered, swallowing. “I really like that. But I can’t forgive what I did.”

“ _I can!_ ” The other girl pressed her forehead against the protrusion of their joined fists. “If- if you forgive me, I forgive you.”

It wasn’t each other that they had harmed. Even the stinging of their first words had little impact and less significance. But she understood- she understood what is was to look at your face in the mirror and see the shell of a monster staring back. She understood the lure of destiny, and a single wish that could have changed her whole life.

Even now, she couldn’t say she would have done anything different.

“Of course,” Valerie murmured, curling into Danielle as best she could. “Of course I do.”

“Then we’ll be okay. We’ll be okay, we’ll be okay, everything will be  _okay_.” The younger girl’s chest was heaving, her grip iron tight. “Please, please let us be okay.”

The last words were not for Valerie, though who the other thought would hear them she couldn’t say. The incubator, perhaps, or maybe even God. Whomever they were intended for, she allowed herself to believe that someone, somewhere, knew.

“We will.”

The lie was sweet as honey on her lips. Danielle drew back enough to cast her watery gaze at her, grief shattering her irises. If Valerie had to die, she’d like to be seeing those eyes when she went. It was the nicest thing she had left, despite the immeasurable pain they conveyed. Being sliced open by that sorrow might not be so bad.

Silence sat with them as the sun sank below the hills. Vaguely, Val noted that it traveled over where her home was. Where her father was probably sitting at the kitchen table, confused and alone thinking that his daughter, too, abandoned him. She couldn’t trick herself into thinking that she had done this for his sake, but she prayed that somewhere in her decision to make this contract he had been a factor.

Her father, Danny, his friends, Danielle- she had left nothing but a trail of irreparable damage in her wake.

“Please, do me a favor.”

“ _Anything_.”

Valerie drew a breath, forcing herself to hold Danielle’s gaze. “When I go-”

“-No-!”

“ _Please_.”

“Valerie-”

“When I turn… make sure to finish me.”

Danielle keened, a brilliantly sharp noise that made Valerie’s skull rattle, but she forged on, squeezing tighter. “Finish me and then- be sure to- take my- grief seed.”

“I can’t do that!”

“You can. I- don’t know how I feel about all of this. But I believe in you. And I need you- purify yourself with my grief seed, because that way- that way I know I’ll always be a part of you. In your soul.”

Lips ghosted against her temple, and the voice that whispered in her ear was soft and broken and so beautiful that Valerie’s chest heaved. “You already are.”

“Promise me.”

A nod caused brought hair to tickle her cheek. “I promise. I will hold you with me forever- and I will keep fighting. I will fight to keep us alive and then when we both leave, we’ll- have done so- on our own terms. We’ll do it together.”

Valerie smiled, a wide grin as light as a breeze. The darkness was encroaching; her lungs hurt, her limbs felt like lead. But there was no fear in it anymore. Slowly, tenderly, she shifted forward until the girls’ joined palms were pressed against Danielle’s chest and she could feel the steady, sure pulse within her.

“I’m so happy,” Val murmured, eyes half lidded. “That I was- able to meet you. Don’t leave yet.”

“ _I’m here_ ,” Danielle answered fervently, conjuring a smile as Valerie’s vision began to fade. “I’m here- always.”

Beyond them, the first star of the evening winked into existence. The sun finished its descent towards the horizon, casting a faint purple glow in its absence, a light breeze kissed the tops of the trees. Amity Park was quiet.

Valerie closed her eyes.  


End file.
